Friday, October 10, 2008

A visit from the Doubt Monster

Many, many thanks to all of you who have offered to read my manuscript. You have no idea what you're in for. Mwah ha ha ha ha...But seriously. Thank you. I'll let you know when the time comes...

Now that I'm almost down to writing the final smash-bang ending scene, I'm plagued by more doubts than usual. These include:

5. My main character doesn't have enough personality. Is it ok that she doesn't act like she just jumped straight out of a Meg Cabot book?

4. Too much plot, not enough atmosphere. I can go back and add atmosphere, right? Right?

3. Whodunit is totally obvious.

2. My writing style is too dry, too journalist-y.

1. It won't connect with a YA audience. OMG. I'm a big dorky old person quickly approaching the downhill slide to 30. Which to a 17-year-old is practically dead. So not cool.

All of these doubts can be encompassed by this one fact: It's very likely that my story sucks. Majorly sucks. And nobody's read it, so how do I know if it sucks or if it's a contender for the 2009 Nobel Prize in Literature?

Ok, I'm positive it's not a contender for the 2009 Nobel Prize in Literature. That is, unless you happen to see Satan buying a pair of ice skates this weekend.

But still. Having some of you read my work will definitely be eye-opening. And I'm looking forward to it (and only a tiny bit worried I'll get a bunch of returned manuscripts with "this majorly sucks" written in red pen on the fronts).

Enough of the pity party I've just thrown myself, complete with balloons and cake.

In other news, my 5K training group is test-running the course on Sunday morning that we'll be running for real next Saturday during the race. It's not as flat as the terrain I'm used to running, and there's a big (to me) hill at the end. The goal is to run the whole thing, so...ok. Deep breath. I'm pumped.

I also just got Ruby in the Smoke from Netflix. It's a (surprise!) BBC adaptation from Philip Pullman's novel. I read the novel in high school and loved it, and bought the two sequels and sort of loved them, too. He's the guy who wrote The Golden Compass and its sequels, but I think these are better. Partly because they're missing all the annoying atheist rhetoric. Partly because they're blissfully free of talking animals and save-the-universe plotlines. Mostly because they're mysteries with a great heroine.

I'll be playing Name That British Actor and will report my findings next week. Hope you guys have a fabulous weekend.


Chad in the AZ Desert said...

It's always a good idea to preview a race course - and pre-running it is even better. Have fun!!

Anonymous said...

Best of luck with your 5K pre-run! You are a much more athletic lady than I am :)

I am sure your novel is much better than you are giving yourself credit for. Who knows, that Nobel Prize might have your name on it!

Anette J Kres said...

I totally understand the worry thing. I have at least 3 of your 5 listed worries plus a few of my own. :)

It seems there are good days and bad days in my writing process. Some days I think "this story rocks" and others I think that its dry with cardboard flat characters and people will hate it... I just try to remind myself on those days that there were days that I actually thought it was good. :) Even if that seems unbelievable at the time. Yesterday was one of those doubtful days, in fact, and I don't think it's totally left yet.

But we'll get through it!